


In My Time of Waking

by Eggsyobsessed



Series: Kingsman Collection of Promtps [8]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Amputee Merlin, Angst, Fix-It, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Major Character Injury, Merlin (Kingsman) Lives, Post-Kingsman: The Golden Circle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggsyobsessed/pseuds/Eggsyobsessed
Summary: Merlin wakes from a week long coma, after Poppy Land, with Eggsy beside him. He's not sure what to think of the man he loves, who is with a Princess, beside him until Eggsy makes a confession of his own.
Relationships: Merlin/Gary "Eggsy" Unwin
Series: Kingsman Collection of Promtps [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662037
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90





	In My Time of Waking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [horseriderjen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/horseriderjen/gifts).



> This was a prompt for the Angst/Fluff prompts on Tumblr. 
> 
> Prompt was requested by Horseriderjen: "Shouldn't you be with him/her."
> 
> This sort of got away from me, so that's why I'm posting it here. I hope you all enjoy!

A blast resonated in his ears, causing them to ring until all he felt was the vibration of it behind his eyes.

The world was there and then it wasn’t. It was bright white light, until there was nothing but darkness. He couldn't see anything past it, as if there was a thick, black curtain in front of him. No. It was like a black water. It was as if a tidal wave came and engulfed him until all he saw was black.

It swept in and pulled him under, even as Merlin tried to wade through the weight of the water, it crushed him, making his limbs feel heavy. Like they were filled with led and someone was on his body, holding him down.

Surface felt like a lifetime away and even longer as he tried to reach the top. In the back of his mind, he wondered how he could function without oxygen this long, but kept focus to reach the top. He didn’t think he’d ever escape the darkness, and after a while it felt too easy to give in. He needed to try!

Finally, at some point, Merlin crested the surface. He didn’t feel as free or relieved as he’d hoped. There was a weight he couldn’t place. No. Not all of his body. It held his right hand down. Merlin tried to move his left, fingers swept along the sheet; it was rough and scratchy.

Consciousness slowly flooded his brain, washing away the thick haze he’d lived in for God knows how long, and became intimately aware of a pain below his knees. It stung, like someone had opened the skin and poured salt into the wound. He wanted to voice his discomfort, scream, shout, anything because it hurt, and he had to be in a medical facility; the scent of antiseptic gave that much away. All he could manage was a moan. His mouth was dry, tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth like someone made him swallow paste.

The weight against his right hand loosened and tightened again, like someone squeezed his hand.

“Merlin?” An achingly familiar voice whispered to his right. It was soft, broken. He knew enough that the tone didn’t fit the person. “Can you hear me?” Eggsy. The lad was too beautiful to sound so crestfallen.

He wanted to let him know he could, but he couldn’t articulate the words. Merlin tried, which only worsened the dull, steady thrum behind his eyes; his head hurt. He worked to pry the right eye open; he wanted to see Eggsy. He finally managed to get it open, crust and gook made it difficult to do, but soon enough he could make out the room he was in; definitely a hospital of some sort. He heard something to his right, and turned to see Eggsy.

The lad was gorgeous as ever, a relieved smile deepened lines in his face; when did that happen? He looked so worried, tired and worn thin. He wanted to soften the lines between his brows. They were pulled tightly together, a look not well suited for someone so beautiful. Merlin wondered how long he’d truly been here and if Eggsy hadn’t left his side the entire time. By the patchy brown hair that cloaked his chiseled jaw, dirty, ripped and blood splattered suit, Merlin knew his assumption to be true.

“Eggsy,” he croaked. It hurt to speak. His throat was dry, scratchy and ached. His mouth stale from disuse; he needed a drink. “Water,” he whispered. That was a little easier than properly speaking.

Eggsy nodded, standing to press a button pinned to Merlin’s chest - like he’d be able to use that in his state - and gave his hand another squeeze.

“I’ll be back, yeah?” The best Merlin could do was nod.

He did his best to open his other eye while Eggsy was gone to survey his surroundings. It was a medical facility, for sure, but not one he recognized. The equipment was different from Kingsman’s, not like he’d be there anyway since it was blown to bits, and too high tech to be your average hospital; Merlin easily observed that. A knock on the door pulled his attention and he watched Ginger walk in with a tender smile.

So they had brought him back to Kentucky.

“Good morning. Nice to have you awake.” Merlin frowned at her. “It’s been a week,” she provided. That eased one of the million questions he had. “I’m assuming you’re wondering what happened?”

Merlin nodded. Not that he needed much clarification on that. It was easy, he had been blown up but how he survived was the mystery. He listened as Ginger gave him the rundown. Double amputee below the knees, he was lucky to have had that much saved, and blood loss anemia.

“The trauma alone should have killed you.” Merlin knew he was lucky. Apparently he and Harry had nine lives. Something he planned to tell the man when he saw him; Harry hated cats. “You were lucky Eggsy found you.”

Merlin’s eyes wandered around the room until he found Eggsy in the corner. He had that look on his face that said he wasn’t going anywhere, the same stiffness to his chin, all jutted out and stubborn as the day Merlin pulled his chute. It was one of the many reasons Merlin loved him, but it was a lost love. A lonely old man’s wish to be with a man much younger, bestowed to a Princess, one he lusted after.

As it turned out Eggsy was the real hero here. He’d gone back to find Merlin, not that Harry wouldn’t have, even when they only had minutes to board the chopper. Eggsy had tied tourniquets above his wounds, stopping some of the bleeding, and dragged his limp, unconscious body 55 meters toward the helicopter.

If he thought he couldn’t be in more awe and love with Eggsy, Merlin was sadly mistaken.

Once Ginger finished her explanation and made sure Merlin understood, she performed a few swallow evaluations and deemed him fit to have some water.

“Small, slow sips, okay? And you should be good for regular food. We’ll just keep it soft today and revisit it tomorrow.” She hung another bag of fluids, gave Merlin some pain medication, and checked his incisions. “Everything looks good.” Ginger patted his thigh. “Let us know if you need anything.”

“Thank you.” Merlin clutched the small cup of water like it was his lifeline. He watched Eggsy the entire time, who hadn’t left his spot, and opened his right palm when Ginger left. He all of a sudden missed the weight of Eggsy’s hand there.

Eggsy gave a small, crooked smile and returned to weave his fingers with Merlin’s.

He knew he shouldn’t allow this. Eggsy was with someone, yet he didn’t deny himself the comfort Eggsy’s touch provided. How his calloused palm felt like home against his. What he wouldn’t give to call this magnificent man his. Dreams and wishes for those who had the right to do so.

They watched one another for a long time. The silence wasn’t uncomfortable or awkward. It was welcomed and well versed. It came from long nights when Eggsy couldn’t sleep in Harry’s house at the Mews, where HQ was too quiet for him, and Eggsy sought company from Merlin. He never denied the lad a kip on his sofa in his office, or his presence when he worked. In fact, Merlin liked it, too. He’d grown accustomed to it and often wondered what it would be like if he asked Eggsy back to his suite in HQ.

Merlin hadn’t ever mustered up the courage to do so and watched as a love between Eggsy and Tilde unfolded. Tilde. Merlin wondered why Eggsy was here instead of with his girlfriend. He remembered the urgency to save her, how the lad looked so distraught and heartbroken that she’d fallen to Poppy’s plan.

“Where’s Tilde?” Merlin broke the silence.

Eggsy worried a thumb along Merlin’s knuckles, looking all for the world like a man who was where he belonged. Perhaps that was the pain medication talking, but Merlin could swear his eyes held something deeper in them than relief Merlin was alive.

“She’s in Sweden,” Eggsy murmured.

“Shouldn’t you be with her?” Merlin couldn’t figure out why he hadn’t gone and reunited with her. “Aren’t ye going to have a wedding?” He remembered that promise, even as he evaluated Harry, and was sure his heart would split in two when he heard Eggsy speak the words.

Eggsy gave a small shake of his head. “No.” It didn’t sound like he was very upset about that. “We decided to stay friends.” He shrugged.

Merlin tightened his grip around Eggsy’s. “I’m so sorry, lad.” He truly meant that.

Eggsy bit his lip, like he had something more to say, and met Merlin’s gaze. “I’m not,” he whispered. Merlin’s brows pulled together, why would he say that? “Had my eye on someone else, yeah. Just...didn’t know it until I thought it was too late.”

A lump formed in his throat, choking off his ability to say anything, as emotion surged. If he hadn’t been doped on painkillers, Merlin would have sworn Eggsy meant him.

“Is it too late?” Merlin asked. It was a hushed, strangled whisper, a damn miracle he even managed that much.

Eggsy’s lips curved into that crooked grin he loved so much. “I don’t know...is it, Merlin?”

Time stopped. Eggsy asked if Merlin thought it too late. That a chance to be together was gone. If Merlin had the ability to scream, he would, in the best possible way. His heart swelled to encompass the space in his chest, making it hard to breathe in a welcomed way.

“No.” Merlin damn near dropped his cup of water when Eggsy launched up, their lips crashed together in blunt desperation, and it was all Merlin could do not to pull Eggsy atop him. He was sure that wouldn’t be a good idea. So he managed to place the styrofoam cup down, reaching up with his free hand to tangle his fingers through Eggsy’s thick, unwashed hair.

It lingered for a long time until both needed oxygen, his lung burned in demand for air, but never broke contact; afraid it was all a dream.

Eggsy lifted away only to drop a few soft, delicate kisses to his chapped lips, and cup his cheek to swipe away tears that Merlin hadn’t realized were on his face.

“I love you.” As soon as the words left his lips, Merlin worried it was too soon, but nothing about this moment guaranteed time was on your side. Everything about what had happened screamed for a love confession, if not now, then when?

Their job made relationships near impossible, shortened time and never promised tomorrow. He watched as blue-green eyes warmed, grew incredibly tender as Eggsy bent down for another desperate kiss.

“I love you, too,” Eggsy whispered against his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr, I am @stronglyobsessed there! Come say hi!


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